A Vagina's Letter to His Owner

Dear Boss,

I would like to tender my resignation as your Vagina -the major source of your identity, sexuality and happiness- effective immediately.

Why, You may ask? It's just because I do not feel I can grow as a person in your possession. For 24 years, I've served you loyally. Yes, I admit. I may have a some flaws in the beginnning, letting out the piss all over the crib, but I learned the ropes, right? Since then, I've given you so much. I've been there for you when you needed to piss, and I did every single moment of it heavenly for you. I was there when You had your first crush. When you watched a porn for the first time, I acted accordingly (even if you close your eyes, I know you got turned on).

So now I'm leaving you. And I thank You for all the wonderful things you've done for me. You trimmed my hair. The first time I bled, I thought it's going to be my end, but you took care of me. For that, I am very grateful, month after month. I will also miss the special attention you give to me, how I smell like a rose with each wash.

But, as they say, some good things never last. For the first time, You let someone hurt me. I pleaded and pleaded, but you never heard me, as that monster forced me open up to my breaking point. And...I broke. I don't know how else would I be able to move on, but I feel it best to both our interest for me to go away for the moment. To where I'm going I don't know, but I need to find myself first. I need to heal. I need to rest.

By the time you read this, I'm already gone. Please don't try to look for me. I'll come back when I'm ready.

Love,

Fufu

A Letter To Myself from a Parallel Universe in which You/I made The Other Option.

Dear Me,

Hi. I guess by now We already know what were the consequences of what We did. Well I hope you are happy with your decision and I guess I’m happy with mine. Well, as early as now, I guess we should accept the repercussions of what we did, right? You chose left, I chose right. You were wrong, and I was right. Hehe, just kidding...Ok I’m sorry…hey hey wait up!

Anyway, how are you doing!? It’s been roughly three minutes since we part ways. Well, if you’re gonna ask me, I am so relieved I didn’t go with you. Haha! Kidding again. Okay…uhm, I know you man…and we love us, right?, so don’t get me wrong okay? I have nothing against what you did, but it’s just not my thing. Well, yeah, We can be a bit spontaneous sometimes, but doing that!? It’s like the craziest that we have done. You could have put our life at risk. But still, I could not cross the line and blame You. We just love the thrill right? And yeah, nothing serious happened. It’s high time for you to realize that I know You and no matter how many times you say you’ll commit suicide, You just can’t do it. *Chicken*. And by the way, it’s not as if it’s new to us to get something intangible broken in the first place.

You’re doing the right thing now. Let it all out. Let it hurt you just enough to almost kill you. After that, you’ll be much stronger…and…maybe wiser? Don’t get me wrong, okay? I’m no genius than you are. We’re just the same after all. And these things I have the indulgence to say because I’m practically inexistent in your part of the universe. And that’s what I’m here for: to make you realize that I won’t be there for you. The moment you made up that decision, I’m already gone and there’s nothing that could make me return, and scientists haven’t come up with a time machine yet. Even so, why ask for the time to go backwards to that moment you made your stupidity? Okay, OUR stupidity. We always go back to that same scenario, playing it over and over again in our heads and we don’t notice that time doesn’t wait for us. Time is the hill of our rolling existence and not a single thing exists backwards. So don’t be hard on yourself, wishful thinking if you could only turn back the time. God is generous enough to give us memories to encapsulate a chunk of that time to be kept safe in our hearts and minds. Consider yourself blessed.

Actually, you are more than blessed. Aggh, okay...you’ve become wiser than I am (I’m just more prudent, hehe) and I will never know the outcome of what you’ve done. When you’ve taken that chance, I actually envied you deep inside because I could never do it– and I guess, I’m not destined to do it. You became my what if same as I am now your should have. As they say, we cannot have it all. Taking the vitamin brand won’t help. And look at Whitney, she sang a pathetic song about almost having it all. Now she’s a junkie.

So I guess this ends here. You stay strong. Keep the faith. Soon we’re gonna meet again, and at that junction, may the best man win.

Love,

Yourself from another Universe

PS

I'm handsome here.